


Lovely Weather For a Sleigh Ride Together With You

by ScarfyTheShipster



Category: Borderlands
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, Christmas, F/M, Fluff, Gen, Kissing, Mercenary Day, Pandora - Freeform, Sleigh Ride, Winter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-25
Updated: 2016-12-25
Packaged: 2018-09-11 22:14:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,442
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9036449
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ScarfyTheShipster/pseuds/ScarfyTheShipster
Summary: Vaughn is able to deal with most anything, but he wasn't expecting festive psychos in elf hats encroaching on his space.





	

Vaughn thought he was done being surprised by Pandora.

The Pandoran desert was blistering hot one season but bitter cold the next. Skag mounds, bones, rock formations, and rakk nests were all that covered most of the wasteland. Desolate but barely populated by the ones unlucky enough to be forced into Pandora's not so beautiful regions. 

Months after the crash of Hyperion's space station, the eye still loomed over the desert with broken parts of the H still attached. Many Hyperion refugees hadn't made it on the harsh planet, but Vaughn couldn't give up.

Thing was, Vaughn wasn't prepared for restive psycho hordes. 

"I don't get it," he mused, looking through binoculars. "The moonshot cannon ought to scare them away, yet we've been seeing more and more of them. Now this! Tons of psychos! With elf hats and antlers! Like what Earthians like!"

Fiona, Sasha, and Rhys stood with him, all invited to Helios for the season. "You know how it is on Pandora," said Sasha, looking out into the night with her own goggles. "Every threat is just an aggressive advertisement. You better lay off on the moonshots." 

"It's not like they'll dare crossing the boundary, right?" asked Rhys.

Fiona sighed. "Psychos are unpredictable at best, Rhys. You can't know anything for certain."

"Not sure what to do with the supplies being so low," said Vaughn, actually stroking his beard as he thought. "The nearest friendly town is miles away, and I can't risk sending out any personnel in the cold with our cozy bandit neighbors out there."

Rhys suddenly spluttered with laughter and looked away from Vaughn. He got an awful, wonderful idea.

"What is it?" pressed Fiona.

"It's- it's so stupid. No. We can't do it!"

Sasha folded her arms. "C'mon Rhys, spit it out. Much as we all hate to admit it, your weird ideas often work out somehow."

Vaughn gestured to Sasha. "Your girlfriend is right as always. I need medicine, food, and ammo for an untrained band of refugees. I'll do anything at this point."

Rhys composed himself and grinned. "Anything?"

"Yeah. Anything."

-~-

"No."

"You said anything!" protested Rhys.

Vaughn spread his arms out and fussed as Fiona and Sasha laughed. "I want a plan that would work! Not some half baked scheme based on ancient alien myths and legends!" At this point Earth was about as alien as ever, far away in another solar system. If not alien, maybe just distant, like a branch of family you're aware of but avoid all contact with.

Fiona interrupted as Rhys opened his mouth. "Is it because of your beard? I think it's nice, even if it makes you look kinda like an old winter demon."

Vaughn pouted, since that was actually the reason. Sasha exchanged a glance with Fiona. "Well, it could work. Psychos don't make any sense, and they're easily distracted like homicidal cats. Rhys and I can work with you on this."

Finally, Vaughn relented. "Alright, Rhys. Details on this plan?"

Rhys rubbed his hands together. "First, we need to get you a red outfit so you look like the earth god of old, Santa. He's often depicted in a sled like vehicle pulled by ferocious horned beasts, but we'll have to use skags for those. Santa passes down judgement depending on if children are good or bad, and you can toss 'presents' out the back of your sled at the psychos, drawing them away from Helios, while Sasha and I make out- I- I mean get supplies!" 

"I suppose that puts me on gift duty, huh?," said Fiona. "Vaughn drives in a weird outfit, and I bring down judgement? You sure these psychos will know what this Santa even is?"

Vaughn, while reluctant at first, was warming up to the idea. He thought engaging in another chariot of death activity with Fiona would be a perfect date. Not that he'd told her he liked her yet. Whoops. "Okay, this is promising. Those psychos are all about festivities and violence, so all we have to do is be loud and shiny. Surely they know what Christmas is, right?"

Sasha made a face. "Christmas? You mean Mercenary Day? Atlas made a day of gun promotions and being nice to people, and now we use it to give gifts to people we like, which usually means more guns." 

"You Pandorans don't have Christmas?!" Rhys was apalled. "Everyone has Christmas! You buy gifts and lights and have hot chocolate and throw snow at each other and run up credit card bills!"

"Where does Santa come into this?" asked Fiona. 

Rhys shrugged. "Just a story, is all. Still- our psychos will be enthralled." 

Vaughn hunted for a red jacket and stocking hat in their collection of weird bandit clothes while Sasha and Fiona hunted skags. Rhys got a few engineers and threw together a fly by night sleigh. All they had was metal from the wreckage, some trash bags, a pizza box, two spare office chairs, a lampshade, and duct tape. 

It was single handedly the worst mode of transportation Vaughn had seen in his life, and he couldn't wait to use it. 

"You wouldn't believe how heavy these things are," grumbled Sasha, hauling an unconscious skag by a leg. 

Fiona followed with another skag and winced as she panted and dragged it to in front of the 'sled'. "Will that sleigh even take the stress of two people being pulled by two wild skags?"

"Yeah!" said Rhys, his smile faltering. "For like, twenty minutes, probably. Maybe fifteen. Actually more like-"

"It's great! It'll be great!" Vaughn stepped into the center of attention. "Did I do a good job on my outfit?"

Fiona eyed him up and down. The hat was the strangest thing about it, but she somewhat liked the belt he'd put around himself to close his jacket. If he'd had a mask, she could see him as one of the psychos. "Well, red is my favorite color."

That was good enough for Vaughn. Warmth flooded his chest and he stammered, "You- you wanna get lights? So Christmas? Yeah?"

Fiona bit back a smirk. "Yeah, I'm sure you've got some in this junk pile." 

She followed him and Vaughn's palms were sweaty. God, she knew. There was no way Fiona didn't know he liked her. He found a tangle of lights and wire and fumbled with it, trying to sort it. "Do I have to say it?"

"Say what?" Fiona helped straighten out his set of lights and Vaughn sighed.

"I like you and I reallyreallyreally want this to be a fun date and I want to kiss you!" Vaughn ducked his head bashfully.

"You consider being chased by psychos while nearly dying a date?"

Oh no. Was that sarcasm? "Uhhhhhh, that's just the start! I'll show you a good time afterwards, like a proper date. Sustained eye contact, food, taking pants off, all that." 

Fiona laughed, making Vaughn flood with relief. "Sustained eye contact? We better live through this then." She glanced away from him and said, "Uh, I might've gotten something for you. For Mercenary Day. So, I mean- don't crash our skag mobile too soon, okay?"

Vaughn stepped close and held her hand. Mutual feelings had been rare in his life. And with someone so close, who'd been through life and limb risking scenarios with him? No one was better. "Can I kiss you?"

"Can you reach?" 

"Can- oh I have to prove it?" Vaughn stood on his tiptoes and angled his head up to peck Fiona's cheek. Butterflies fluttered in his stomach and he couldn't help smiling. "There, I can reach."

-~-

The sled was outlined with multi-colored lights and the skags had bells on their makeshift harnesses to stand out against the brisk night. Fiona perched in the back with with a box of homemade grenades that Felix had taught her and Sasha to make. Vaughn positioned himself in the front with the reigns and a chain whip, which he'd protested until Sasha reminded him the skags had a thick skin. 

"...and need this too." Sasha presented Vaughn with an SMG. "Fiona has her pistol, and you have this. For now, anyway. I want it back like, really bad."

Vaughn took it and reloaded it, weighing it in his hands. "Now I have a machine gun, ho ho ho!"

"Never do that again," said Rhys quickly. He and Sasha were also geared up to venture outside. "Once you draw them away, we can take the caravan to safely get supplies. You two ready?"

"Yeah." Fiona put a bandit mask on while Vaughn only wore goggles. "Wake those skags up!"

Vaughn lashed out with the chain and the sled bolted forward, making both of them scream as they glided over the sand. 

"SANTA! BLOOD SLUSHIES!" bellowed a psycho with an elf hat, running to catch up with them as the skags sped through the crowd. As planned, many of them started chasing them, but no one reached it yet.

"AAAAAAH!" screamed Vaughn as they zigzagged through the small crowd of psychos. Some swung buzz axes but a few opened fire, forcing Vaughn to duck as he attempted to steer. 

Fiona pulled the pin out of a grenade and threw it, "Grenade!"

Vaughn turned around slightly and yelled, "Try not to hit any, just distract! It's Christmas!" 

The skags roared and charged after psychos ahead of them, fighting the harness but still pulling their careening sled over the sand. Vaughn thanked his shield as bullets whizzed by him, some deflecting off of him. Unfortunately, the psychos caught on that Vaughn was too well covered and shot at the skags instead.

"Damn it!" Vaughn took the SMG as Fiona kept tossing grenades and taking opportunist shots with her pistol. They gained more and more distance from the bandits on foot and Vaughn allowed himself to breathe.

Until a bandit technical vehicle rolled over a massive sand dune in front of them.

"Fiona!"

"On it!" Fiona switched her pistol over to the corrosive chamber and took a moment to aim and fire. The metal started corroding and giving way under Vaughn's barrage from his SMG, but not before the bandits landed a substantial hit on their sled. The back end came off and Fiona barely vaulted up beside Vaughn, wincing as her knee and wrist slammed into metal. "Oww."

Vaughn swung the chain at the skags and forced them away from the exploding car, getting jostled, losing his hat, and almost flying out of the sled himself. 

Finally, they seemed to be in the clear. They'd outrun anyone on foot and they'd been in the sled for what felt like awhile. Vaughn called Rhys to check on him and Sasha. "Hey."

"You guys okay?" asked Rhys. 

"Yeah. You got everything?"

"Sasha and I are at a town with the caravan, just loading up everything we need. Where are you?"

"The middle of nowhere," replied Fiona over Vaughn's shoulder.

Rhys laughed softly. "Sounds about right. Send your coordinates and we'll pick you up."

"See you," said Vaughn. They were still being pulled by the skags and he glanced at Fiona. "Do we kill them or jump? I'd rather jump."

"Just for you." 

They each leaped out of either side of the remains of their sled and rolled into the sand. It wasn't comfortable, but they'd both been through much worse. Vaughn inhaled sand and coughed as he stumbled to stand up. "We made it."

Fiona took off her mask and brushed sand off of herself. "Seems so." She helped Vaughn up and let her hand stay on his shoulder. Her expression was soft as she said, "We make a good team."

"Yeah, we do." Vaughn struggled to find the right words and decided to just pour it out. "I missed doing stuff like this with you. I remember when we first met so well, how we kinda wanted to kill each other, but then we just fit, you know?"

"You've changed, and for the better." Fiona looked up at the dark sky with a few stars shining through clouds. "You used to trail Rhys like a puppy, but now? You're a leader. You're braver than anyone I've met from your Hyperion camp. I like that."

"I- thank you." Vaughn looked up with her and his eyebrows furrowed as he felt the top of his head. "I lost my hat!"

Fiona laughed softly. "It was a terrible hat, dude."

"I thought you liked them."

"Not all hats are created equal."

A car horn blared and they could hear Sasha and Rhys calling out to them in the distance. Fiona wrapped her arm around Vaughn's waist and he was surprised. He didn't know why it would be such a big deal if Rhys and Sasha knew. It just felt weird. They curled up in the backseat together and Vaughn tried to ignore Rhys's occasional knowing glance in the rear view mirror. Now that he wasn't panicking while trying to steer a duct tape sleigh Vaughn noticed the brisk cold air hitting his face and he snuggled even closer to Fiona. 

"Uh. Guys? We're still here," said Rhys, watching them get cozier.

Sasha got partially out of her seat to look at them. "Awwwww!"

"I'm cold," grumbled Vaughn. 

Fiona smirked. "Actually, I think you're hot."

Rhys groaned as Sasha and Vaughn laughed. "At least you have the same dumb humor." He swerved to avoid a pile of skag and brightened. "Oh! I'm making hot chocolate when we get back, you guys want some? I'm making like, a vat of it. As much as possible. Just fuck the entire kitchen with sugar and chocolate."

"Sounds good," agreed Fiona. 

After they unloaded the supplies, Fiona and Vaughn slipped away to her temporary bedroom. "I got you this, for Mercenary Day." Fiona presented Vaughn with a purple rarity Jakobs sniper rifle and he ooohed appreciatively.

"Woah! Thank you! Damn, this thing looks expensive."

"Don't worry, I certainly, you know, didn't pay for it."

Vaughn set it aside and hugged Fiona. "Really, thank you. I just feel bad I didn't get you anything. Or maybe... I could give you something-"

Fiona kissed Vaughn but pulled him by his hips flush against her. "Say no more." She kissed him once more and Vaughn lost himself in feeling her and sighed, leftover adrenaline turning to warmth. A couple seconds later Fiona separated from Vaughn and triumphantly held up her own bra, pulling it out of her sleeve. "Impressive, huh?"

"What- how the hell did you do that?!" 

She didn't answer, just smiled and let Vaughn kiss her this time. "Happy Mercenary Day, Vaughn." 

"Merry Christmas Eve, Fiona."

**Author's Note:**

> This was a secret Santa for lyafa-katz on tumblr <3
> 
> Hope you guys liked it


End file.
